Blog by Guest Author:-

The Emergence of Local NRI connections and Decline of Matrimonial portals like Shaadi.com

Well, who hasn't heard of Shaadi.com? raise your hand! :) I bet almost every reader of this blog will be aware of matrimonial goliath shaadi.com. Thats another thing that many joined, some found their partner and some didn't and left it with a bad after taste!

Lets talk about that bad after taste... the two most common causes of that bad after taste are:-

1) Distance Communication

2) Dealing with parents.

Its common belief that biggest source of revenue for shaadi.com, jeevansathi.com etc are NRIs... Unlike popular belief, Life abroad (in UK, USA, Canada, Australia etc) is uniquely hard.. on one hand its full of comforts like air conditioned buses, office, public transport, no corruption, excellent work culture, superb health facilities and many such things which make living on planet a comfortable experience for most NRIs, but on other hand the heart always craves for the family, friends and things like authentic pani puri or samosa or paan at the local street shop back home.  As NRIs are like any displaced people who stay hung between the rift of two acutely dissimilar cultures, lack of emotional and family support abroad makes them wonder, more often than not, "was it really worth it?"

It is at times like these, when loneliness of foreign cultures becomes defiant dragon not ready to be subdued by office parties, local flings, clubbings or indoor sports like squash, badminton etc  and engulfs you in a melancholic parody of home-office-home routine, that one goes online, hunts for a shoulder of emotional support and light weight friendships.  During these lonely periods of many NRI's life, most of us join portals like Shaadi.com, jeevansathi.com, bharatmatrimony.com etc  and look at the profiles of opposite sex with starry eyes.. initial few days are spent in a euphoria as if an egyptian mummy is suddenly transported to paris disneyland..:)  lots of profiles... many with pics and lots of matching stuff in hobbies and interests... world seems like an oyster and face glows on way to home from office, expecting a reply from that cutie which snatched the sleep last night.  But the reply never comes.. or more often than not it comes after 14-20 days when the childish enthusiasm caused by the first ray of hope of a life long fun companionship, has already withered in the wait of that one reply.  Some say, happiness delayed is happiness denied! how true.  On occasions when the communication picks up, gtalk, skype, gmail helps build up that initial momentum but alas most of us NRIs can only visit India once a year when we get our 4 weeks/annum allotted time-off from work.  On many occasions, someone who landed in India before you snatches away that charming one from you and then only you realise that the person who were talking with so long was in touch with other NRI candidates as well.  But thats not the last blow or the more painful part.  

Most of the communication on shaadi.com happens between NRI Guy and Indian Girl's parents. Indian parents hardly let a single girl of marriagable age and attractive features go abroad without a ring on the engagement finger of her hand. :).  Saying that, for every single Indian girl abroad , there would be 1000 Single Indian guys abroad, won't be an exaggeration. :) A typical NRI who has lived abroad for couple of years finds it really difficult to interact with girl's parents on shaadi.com because of generation gap and communication gap as well. World has changed at warp speed lately. World travel also shapes up for better, one's opinions and notions about foreign cultures and lands.  If he manages to break through that wall of china and gets to interact with the girl a bit, the parents come back in picture and ask for a prompt India visit to secure the hands of the bride. And when that typical NRI visits India, almost in 50-60% of the cases the Girl looks totally different than the way she looked in studio pics provided by parents. If he manages to overcome that disappointment then the parents make him sit through a monitored/supervised meeting by sitting at a few feet distance and giving the girl and guy 30-45 minutes with each other to decide about living with that person till the end of life. Almost in all the cases the final decision is sought after that one meeting, however if a second meeting is requested by the NRI chap, thats taken as a sign of almost 99% "yes" decision.  Of course thats another story that both sides present their best self in those couple of meetings and real life after marriage is usually a totally different picture all together.

So whats the solution? what can be done to avoid such scenarios, disappointments or Suprises after marriage?  Ofcourse as everyone knows, arranged marriages and distance relationships are so uniquely Indian Concepts still surviving in this 21st century. To those defendants of these obsolete and irrational traditions , who argue that "its all destiny and you never know how your marriage will work out, arranged/love, it doesn't matter" .. the answer would be "before going to cinema to watch a movie, you never know whether you will like it or not, but you still try to get to know the name and theme of movie and its directors etc before you buy the ticket"...  Future is always uncertain, no doubt about that. But knowingly deciding about something and blindly deciding about something are ofcourse two very very different things.  

Bottom line is almost every NRI craves to meet someone locally. Someone just right  for him/her living at the same part of planet. Whom one could meet in real world and could  get to know a bit better, with whom a friendship could strike first and then you start developing emotions on the foundation of that friendship which only takes birth when there is some compatibility.  

Problem: How could that be made possible? How could one meet single persons of India origin in foreign lands without the formality and hesitation involved in a meeting arranged in a matrimonial context?

Answer: Very simple actually and 1000 times less disappointing. :) The time you spend on shaadi.com dealing with prospective bride's parents or looking at those dormant profiles, should rather be spent on the NEW AGE SOCIAL NETWORKING Platforms like facebook, orkut, linkedin etc to increase your connections and which further increases your chances of bumping into that right one in real world. Nobody puts their studio pics on facebook and parents never represent their sons/daughters on facebook. After all, how hard could it be? Look at your friends' friendlist and drop a "Hi".. :) or go to that birthday party organised by your friend and introduce yourself to as many people as possible in a totally casual manner. Talk about your interests, hobbies, world travels, books and movies collection and very soon you will see that like attracts like :)

Apart from that you should also make good use of these awesome social networking websites built just for NRIs, like IndiansInUK.net, IndiansInUS.net ,  IndiansInCanada.net, IndiansInDubai.net, IndiansInSingapore.net, IndiansInAustralia.net, IndiansInNewZealand.net etc to build and expand your local NRI friend circle. You should try to create and attend public events mentioned on these websites to meet other NRIs locally in REAL WORLD.  You can also try to write Blogs on your favourite subjects and impress that special someone with your articulation of thoughts. :)  Or you can join that local charity event in your community and let the right people know that you have a kind heart and that "You care!". There is nothing which attracts the prospective partner more than the personality attribute known as "Sensitive & Caring". Add  "Fun Company" to the ingredients and you are an awesome recipe ! :) On top of all this, the best place to look for romantic and emotional companionship locally would be these regional NRI dating & matrimonial websites built for the sole purpose of providing a platform for NRIs to find each other locally.  http://IndianProfessionalsInUK.com , http://IndianProfessionalsInUS.com , http://IndianProfessionalsInCanada.com , 

http://IndianProfessionalsInUAE.com, http://IndianProfessionalsInAustralia.com

And I think, they are all free to join and use. :)

Let me know here if you liked reading my Blog.  If you could relate to it.  Any feedback, most welcome! :)

Good Luck!

- ZindaDilParrot Wid Intoxicating Enthusiasm :)